Jeopardy Answer: Lipstick

Ever since McCain plucked Sarah Palin out of an episode of Northern Exposure (actually she sort of looks like Janine Whateverhernamewas), people have been trying to recall any similar instance of picking someone so spectacularly unqualified for Heartbeat-Away-from-Leader-of-the-Formerly-Free-World. Dan Quayle (remember him?) probably comes closest since he was apparently picked because of his golf score. But he was such a cipher twink that he really doesn't compare.

Actually, from what we can tell, Palin is much more like Bush in drag. They both come from states with false, but fervently held, belief in their specialness based on a largely ficticious myth of rugged self-reliance. (Alaska is essentially a welfare state living off of subsidies from the federal government and oil companies.) They both cultivate the image of frontier ruggedness--Palin poses in camo and (allegedly) can field dress a moose; Bush wears cowboy boots and likes to clear brush on the ranch. They share evangelical faith that they know and are implementing God's will and don't really believe in science. They share disdain for protecting the environment and reject global warming and evolution as just a "theory". They pick people for important posts because they like them, not because they're qualified. (Harriet Myers? Alberto Gonzales? Brownie?) They both came to the national stage with an abysmal ignorance of foreign affairs. Remember how Bush was all buddy-buddy with Putin because he "saw into his soul"? Palin thinks she's ready because "you can see Russia from Alaska". Most frighteningly, they both show contempt for actual knowledge as opposed to right-wing political theology.

The analogy isn't perfect, of course. Palin's background really is marginal middle class, and she bounced around several community colleges before getting runner-up as Miss Alaska and finally graduating from the University of Idaho. W's redneck cred is totally bogus, having come from old New England money and schooling at Phillips Academy, Yale, and Harvard Biz. Of course, he got into Yale as a "legacy" (affirmative action for rich white kids), and it's pretty clear that he didn't get into Harvard Biz based on his academic record or business acumen. But he obviously didn't learn anything, and his dimwittedness has been reliable fodder for Leno pretty much nightly. Then there's Palin's interviews with Charles Gibson and a couple of subsequent unscripted brushes with the press which were so excruciatingly embarrassing that I almost felt sorry for her.

Maybe the infatuation with Palin stems partially from relief that we didn't have the loathsome Joe Lieberman thrust upon us. But God help us if the Palin-McCain ticket wins, and the Certified War Hero croaks! That shrill screechy voice alone would be enough to put the TV on mute for the next four years.

By the way, apparently not everyone in Alaska thinks the Divine Sarah hung the Northern Lights. Check out this report.

Addendum: OMG, it keeps getting better. Check out the video in this post. This woman could become president, people!